(intense music) (counterboard taps) (lively music) (lively music continues) (chain whirs and clacks) (wheel swishing) (bike rattling) (bells dinging) (art clacking and clanking) (art continues clacking and clan (water dripping) (art squealing) (tool pounding) (pins rustling) (tool pounding) (pins rustling) (tool pounding) (art clacking and clanking) - I am a non-traditional artist.

At a very early age, I started to do things on canvas, and mimic other people's work.

(plugs jingle) (bell rings) I never really found a joy or a or satisfaction in being limited to a square on a wall.

(bell rings) (lighthearted music) And then, I sort of, I slipped off the canvas.

(bell rings) (wheel whirring) (lighthearted music) The world is your oyster, my dea Let me know how I can help.

(singer chanting) (lighthearted music) Don't put your (indistinct) in t The fairies don't like it.

(singer chanting) The ramblings of an old man.

(la (singer chanting) (lighthearted music) (shoes clomping) (paint squishing) (lighthearted music) (shoes clomping) (singer chanting) (laughs) What defines you as a human being?

(chuckles) (lighthearted music) (lighthearted music continues) (indistinct) and his mother should take his money away at this point in time.

(lighthearted music) (tool whirring) (hammer tapping) Every sculpture or artwork I mak usually has a secret thing about It's meant to be cartoony and happy and fun.

But then there's this other thin that almost everyone, except for and the curious, would not find.

(pen scrabbling) My favorite sculpture to date is a 14-foot-tall praying mantis that's eating a flower.

It's located off of a children's playground.

And the secret to that sculpture that there's pea gravel beneath And I thought, as a child, I would've surely picked up a ha of gravel and hid it with it.

So, if one's to do that, each eyeball is a bell at a different tone.

So it would probably go... ♪ Ding ding And that's the super secret to o of my favorite sculptures.

(Sean laughs) (bells chiming) My workspace is chaos.

(wheel whirring) Sometimes I have to take things when they're organized and throw them on the floor, so that my mind can see a random which it's trying to do.

And I can't get that when it's o (wheel whirring) (bike rattles) But I do see the reactions of ot which is that they're appalled.

And (laughs) I would assume that you would be appalled by the devil.

(laughs) He probably wouldn't step in.

He would come into your house with muddy feet and step on your white couch and eat your food and not ask questions, and probably leave the toilet un So, letting the devil in the doo and you have to invite him in, ( is about creating chaos for the of the creative end.

(wheel whirring) (bike rattles) (tin clacking) My art is an attempt to not be forced to grow up.

(can spritz) My father always wanted me to think differently.

He was a military contractor, so everything was about linear and working within those systems And I always loved to play with that structure.

My mother was an artist, and that allowed me, in defiance of my father's wishes to continue to be creative and to explore how my mind works (brush swooshes) My mother always wore polka dots One of the thoughts that come to mind are bright-yellow clogs that were spotted and dotted with big, daisies on the to p (brush whooshes) (projector clicks and whirs) It was in June, just prior to the 4th of July, we had gone to pick up a large stewing pot that my mother had burned up.

I had taken it to the car and put it on the passenger side And she became quite angry when she came out and told everyone to get out of I was to put the pot directly behind her in the backseat.

As we drove, I saw a Cadillac in a fury to get away from something in the intersection.

And we heard loud air horns.

And my mother was confused.

As she got three-quarters of the through the intersection, the air horn got louder and louder, and at a certain moment, she was looking in the rear view mirror, and she said, "Oh, Jesus."

She almost got out, "Christ."

We were struck by a trash truck that was fully loaded.

It had gone airborne and landed on our car.

I got out of the car 'cause the window was open.

I looked inside, and my youngest brother was bleeding, and my sister was fighting and screaming that her legs, something about her legs.

And when I pulled her out and I put her on the sidewalk, I knew something was wrong, and someone was missing.

So I went back in the car.

And I would say that my mother wasn't alive, the steering wheel had largely gone through onm into her chest.

It crushed her and the pot that she had so furiously fought with me to put behind her, saving my brother's life and my sisters.

And at that moment when I was trying to help her, (whimpers) I grew up, and that was the end of my childhood.

(lighthearted music) (lighthearted music continues) - No, wait!

(people chattering) (lighthearted music) (people chattering and frolickin (lighthearted music) (lighthearted music continues) - [Sean] Once those things occurred, you were never suppose to speak of it again.

And I think that led to many years of seeking and searching for either a a mothers love answers that can't be answered, to questions that sometimes don't need to be asked.

And that's the journey Im on (glass squeaking) (pen scrabbling) We artists have a rise and fall And on the rise, you make wonderful creative things, and on the fall, you go deep into the dark.

Until I understood myself, I didn't understand that depression is a cycle thats needed for the creative process to doubt, to be negative, to want to eat one's self.

It is a constant struggle.

(paint squishing) for me, bright colors save me countless hours of going dark (birds chirping) (art clacking) In my head, I'm 12 forever.

I always heard from my ex and my father alike, I should grow up that my mind was childish, my humor was childish, my art was childish, but it was place that I always enjoyed (wheel whirring) (lighthearted music) I thought of "Pinocchio" finding Jackass Island, where they'd smoke cigars and laugh the day away.

(wheel whirring) (lighthearted music) And I think that's a safe space (lighthearted music) I was told to grow up so much.

( Always told to grow up.

You resent those people that try to change you.

I will not be what you want me t Uh.

(lighthearted music) (lighthearted music continues) Thank you for loving me.

(Sean laughs) - [Videographer] This is like perfect attitude.

(Sean laughs) (videographer indistinct) - I can't believe you're gonna u (lighthearted music) (lighthearted music continues)