Colorado Voices
Dealing with Death
9/8/2022 | 26m 39sVideo has Closed Captions
The death care industry in Colorado provides diverse perspectives
Death is often a taboo subject, which makes the experience of losing a loved one often jarring and difficult to deal with. From discussing the emotions you may feel to planning arrangements after your own death, the death care industry in Colorado provides diverse perspectives on something that we will all experience.
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Colorado Voices is a local public television program presented by RMPBS
Colorado Voices
Dealing with Death
9/8/2022 | 26m 39sVideo has Closed Captions
Death is often a taboo subject, which makes the experience of losing a loved one often jarring and difficult to deal with. From discussing the emotions you may feel to planning arrangements after your own death, the death care industry in Colorado provides diverse perspectives on something that we will all experience.
Problems with Closed Captions? Closed Captioning Feedback
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Learn Moreabout PBS online sponsorship(MUSIC PLAYING) - THERE IS NO LIFE WITHOUT DEATH.
- WE WANT TO MAKE UNDERSTANDING DEATH AND LEARNING ABOUT DEATH ACCESSIBLE FOR PEOPLE.
- WHAT OUR FAMILY DOES IS MORE THAN A JOB.
WE'RE CALLED TO DO THIS.
(MUSIC PLAYING) - DEATH IS SPIRITUAL.
BIRTH IS SPIRITUAL.
AND I THINK THE REASON THAT THEY ARE IS BECAUSE THEY'RE BIGGER THAN US.
IT'S SOMETHING THAT WE DON'T HAVE CONTROL OVER.
IF YOU'VE EVER BEEN ABLE TO BE IN THE SPACE WHEN SOMEBODY'S ACTIVELY DYING, OR WHEN A BABY IS BORN, IT CHANGES YOU.
IT'S JUST, LIKE, EXHILIRATING, AND A NEW LIFE CAME IN.
AND IT'S THE SAME SORT OF BIG ENERGY WHEN SOMEBODY DIES.
AND IT'S THE SAME KIND OF BIG ENERGY WHEN YOU SEE THE MOST EPIC SUNSET.
- YEAH.
- AND IT'S THE SAME KIND OF BIG ENERGY WHEN YOU'RE SITTING IN THE RIVER AND YOU'RE LOOKING AROUND, AND THERE'S JUST STILLNESS.
THAT'S DEATH.
AND IT'S HUMBLING.
AND IT'S BEAUTIFUL.
- AND IT'S ALSO LIFE.
- HI, I'M ERIN.
- AND I'M LAUREN.
- AND WE'RE THE DEATH WIVES.
AT DEATH WIVES, WE WANT TO MAKE UNDERSTANDING DEATH AND LEARNING ABOUT DEATH ACCESSIBLE FOR PEOPLE BECAUSE DEATH, NOBODY ESCAPES IT.
WE'RE ALL GOING TO EXPERIENCE IT.
AND SO, HOW CAN WE BRING THAT TO PEOPLE IN A WAY THAT'S DIGESTIBLE AND EASY TO ACCESS AND EVEN AFFORDABLE?
AND YOU CAN SEE HERE OUR DIFFERENT COURSES THAT WE OFFER, WHICH WE HAVE QUITE A FEW RIGHT NOW.
SO, WE STARTED TEACHING A SCOPE OF PRACTICE OF CLASSES ONLINE, FROM SKILLS, LIKE WHAT DOES A DEATH DOULA DO, TO A CLASS WHERE YOU PLAN YOUR OWN FUNERAL, TO CLASSES WHERE WE'RE TALKING ABOUT THE ENVIRONMENTAL IMPACTS OF DIFFERENT FINAL DISPOSITION METHODS.
NOBODY WANTS TO TALK ABOUT WHAT HAPPENS TO BODIES WHEN THEY DIE, BUT SOMETHING DOES.
AND WE THINK IT'S EMPOWERING FOR PEOPLE TO KNOW WHAT THOSE OPTIONS ARE.
A DEATH DOULA SUPPORTS A PERSON THROUGH THEIR END-OF-LIFE EXPERIENCE.
THERE ARE A LOT OF DEATH DOULAS WHOSE MAIN FOCUS, AS OURS HAS BECOME OVER TIME, IS EDUCATION, BECAUSE THEY RECOGNIZE THAT WHEN SOMEBODY'S JUST LOST SOMEONE THEY LOVE, THEN THEY DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO.
THEY'RE LIKE A DEER IN THE HEADLIGHTS.
AND THEY'RE GOING TO DO WHAT IS EXPEDIENT OR EASY-- - OR WHAT THEIR NEIGHBOR DID.
- YEAH.
- WHICH MIGHT BE THE TRADITIONAL FUNERAL HOME WHERE THEY SPENT $10,000.
SO, THAT'S WHERE THE EDUCATION PART REALLY COMES IN, IS THEY NEED TO KNOW WHAT A DEATH DOULA IS.
THEY NEED TO KNOW WHAT THEIR END-OF-LIFE OPTIONS ARE BECAUSE IT'S GOING TO HAPPEN.
IT'S INEVITABLE.
THERE'S NOTHING WE CAN DO TO CHANGE THAT.
WE ARE NOT A ONE-SIZE-FITS-ALL SOCIETY.
WE'RE NOT ONE-SIZE-FITS-ALL HUMANS.
SO, WHY SHOULD OUR DEATH CARE BE THAT WAY?
- YOU ARE LOOKING AT ESSENTIALLY AN ALTAR.
AN ALTAR CAN BE ANYTHING, RIGHT, THAT IS TRIBUTING SOMEONE WHO HAS DIED WHO YOU LOVE AND WHO YOU WANT TO ACTIVELY HAVE IN YOUR SPACE.
THIS IS A PHOTO OF MY SISTER, STACY, WHO DIED IN FEBRUARY.
AND I HAVE HER ASHES HERE, ONLY THEY'RE NOT ACTUALLY ASHES.
THEY'RE GROUND-UP BONES BECAUSE SHE HAD A WATER CREMATION RATHER THAN FIRE CREMATION.
MY WORK HAS HELPED ME TREMENDOUSLY DURING THIS TIME IN TERMS OF KNOWING WHAT TO DO, WHAT STEPS TO TAKE NEXT, AND WHAT ALL OF MY OPTIONS ARE.
THAT'S A LOT OF WHAT WE TEACH.
AND I WAS REALLY GRATEFUL THAT I KNEW WHAT TO DO.
I KNEW THAT SHE WANTED WATER CREMATION.
I KNEW THAT SHE WANTED TO BECOME FLOWERS IN A GARDEN AND BE RETURNED TO THE EARTH.
I KNEW THAT WHEN WE HAD A VIEWING, WHICH WE THINK IS REALLY IMPORTANT FOR PEOPLE TO BE ABLE TO SEE THE BODIES OF THEIR LOVED ONES AFTER THEY DIE, SHE WOULD WANT TO LOOK AMAZING.
PEOPLE HAVE CHOICES ABOUT ALL OF THIS.
(MUSIC PLAYING) - I BELIEVE THE REASON THAT DEATH IS SO TABOO IN AMERICA IS BECAUSE IT'S LITERALLY BEHIND CLOSED DOORS.
HERE, IN AMERICA, PEOPLE GO TO THE HOSPITAL, AND THEY GO TO NURSING HOMES.
FAMILIES MAY NEVER EVEN VISIT THEM.
THE PERSON DIES, THEY CALL A FUNERAL HOME.
FUNERAL HOMES SECRETLY WILL COME AND PICK THEM UP.
AND SO, IF YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT IT IS OR WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE, IT'S TERRIFYING.
- PEOPLE ARE AFRAID OF WHAT THEY DON'T KNOW.
SO, THAT'S REALLY WHAT WE NEED TO BE LOOKING AT.
IT'S LIKE, YOU'RE GOING TO DIE.
EVERYBODY THAT YOU LOVE IS GOING TO DIE.
WHY AREN'T YOU WILLING TO LOOK AT IT?
IT'S BECAUSE YOU'RE AFRAID.
WHAT ARE YOU AFRAID OF?
LET'S TALK ABOUT THAT.
(MUSIC PLAYING) - A LOT OF PEOPLE MAY NOT BE SCARED OF DEATH, BUT THEY'RE SCARED OF GRIEF.
YOU AND I, WE ALREADY MENTIONED, WE'RE PROFESSIONAL GRIEVERS.
WE'RE LIKE, "OH, BRING IT.
I'LL CRY WITH YOU.
I'LL WEEP WITH YOU."
AND SO, WHEN YOU KNOW THAT THERE'S THIS TIDAL WAVE OF GRIEF COMING, IT'S A LOT EASIER TO TURN IT INTO A LITTLE BALL AND TRY TO IGNORE IT VERSUS WALK TORWADS IT.
BECAUSE THAT'S TERRIFYING.
HAVING YOUR HEART BROKEN AND KNOWING IT'S ABOUT TO BREAK IS TERRIFYING.
AND THAT'S WHERE WE FIND OUT THAT WE'RE NOT ALONE IN IT.
AND THEN IT'S NOT SO SCARY WHEN WE CAN CRY TOGETHER, WHEN WE CAN CELEBRATE THE LIFE TOGETHER.
(MUSIC PLAYING) - DEATH, IN MY CULTURE, IS A CELEBRATION OF LIFE.
DEATH, IN ALL CULTURE, IS INEVITABLE.
WE'LL ALL GO THROUGH IT.
SO, IT IS THAT COMPLETE CYCLE OF THAT SACRED HOOP.
MY NAME IS CARLOS CASTAÑEDA.
I AM A CHICANO.
I'M THIRD GENERATION, HERE FROM MEXICO.
D ÍA DE LOS MUERTOS IS A CELEBRATION OF LIFE OF THOSE WHO HAVE WALKED THIS EARTH AND HAVE PASSED ON TO THE OTHER WORLD, THE SPIRITUAL WORLD.
IT IS TO CELEBRATE AND HONOR THEIR LIFE.
IN OUR HOMES, WE SET UP AN ALTAR TO HONOR ALL OF THOSE WHO HAVE GONE BEFORE US.
BUT WE DO THAT WITH THEIR PHOTOGRAPHS.
WE DO IT WITH FLOWERS.
WE DO IT WITH CANDLES.
WE DO IT WITH THEIR FAVORITE FOOD.
WE DO IT WITH WATER.
AND WE DO IT WITH SALT.
IT IS VERY IMPORTANT TO US, PARTICULARLY FOR OUR CHILDREN, TO GET THEM TO UNDERSTAND THAT DEATH DOESN'T MEAN IT'S THE END OF SOMETHING.
IT'S NOT THE END OF LIFE, BUT IT'S A BEGINNING OF ANOTHER LIFE, A SPIRITUAL LIFE.
DEATH HAS BEEN CELEBRATED FOR THOUSANDS AND THOUSANDS OF YEARS TO TRY TO CONNECT THOSE TWO WORLDS TOGETHER.
(MUSIC PLAYING) - I THINK IT'S JUST SENDING THEIR PHYSICAL FORM OFF INTO A NEW PHASE AND A NEW CHAPTER.
EVEN THOUGH THIS IS A REALLY TECHNOLOGY-DRIVEN PROCESS, IT'S STILL A PERSON, AND IT'S STILL SOMEONE'S LOVED ONE.
THERE IS NO LIFE WITHOUT DEATH.
IT'S REALLY A WESTERN CULTURE THING, THIS DEATH DENIAL, WHERE WE JUST DON'T REALLY THINK ABOUT IT OR TALK ABOUT IT.
AND IT'S BECOME RATHER TABOO.
- WE ALL WILL DIE.
AND WHEN WE CAN FACE THAT, I THINK WE CAN ALSO MAKE DIGNIFIED DECISIONS ABOUT WHAT THAT LOOKS LIKE.
- OUR CURRENT, CONVENTIONAL METHODS OF BURIAL AND CREMATION REALLY PERPETUATE THAT IDEA THAT SOMEHOW WE'RE SEPARATE FROM NATURE AS HUMANS.
AND REALLY, WE'RE NOT.
WE DO BELONG TO THE EARTH ONCE WE'RE GONE.
WE'RE NOT SPECIAL.
WE DON'T NEED TO BE PRESERVED IN ANY WAY.
WHAT YOU'RE LOOKING AT BEHIND ME IS OUR WATER CREMATION SYSTEM.
AT BE A TREE CREMATION, WE REALLY HAVE TWO GOALS.
AND THAT'S TO, NUMBER ONE, HELP PEOPLE LIVE ON THROUGH NATURE, AND NUMBER TWO, TO REDUCE THE CARBON FOOTPRINT OF THE FUNERAL INDUSTRY, WHICH IS NOT INSIGNIFICANT.
WE DO A PROCESS CALLED WATER CREMATION.
ALKALINE HYDROLYSIS IS THE FORMAL NAME.
AND WE'LL USE WATER, INSTEAD OF FIRE, TO GENTLY BREAK DOWN THE BODY AND STILL HAVE ASHES FOR THE FAMILY AT THE END.
WE HAVE NO EMISSIONS OR SMOKE COMING FROM OUR BUILDING.
AND IT'S ABOUT 90% LESS ENERGY THAN A FLAME CREMATION WOULD BE.
ONE FLAME CREMATION IS GOING TO EMIT ABOUT AS MUCH CO2 AS A 600-MILE CAR TRIP DOES.
THE DECEDENT GETS LOADED DIRECTLY INTO THIS VESSEL.
AND THEN, WE MEASURE OUT A DRY ALKALI FLAKE.
IT'S CALLED POTASSIUM HYDROXIDE.
AND THAT ACTUALLY ACTIVATES THE WATER MOLECULE TO MIMIC THE NATURAL DECOMPOSITION PROCESS OVER THE COURSE OF SEVERAL HOURS.
AND BY THE END OF THE PROCESS, SKELETAL REMAINS ARE STILL OVER HERE IN THIS SYSTEM.
AND THEN, THE LIQUID RESULTS FROM THE PROCESS IS DRAINED OVER HERE.
AND IT'S A VERY NUTRIENT-RICH LIQUID THAT THEN WILL BE TRANSPORTED OVER TO HALF MOON FARM, WHERE IT NOURISHES THE SOIL THERE.
YOU'RE REALLY RETURNING BACK TO THE EARTH.
- YEAH, THESE WERE ALL THE MOST BEAUTIFUL BLOOMS.
YEAH.
IT'S STILL BEAUTIFUL, BUT IT'S JUST A LITTLE BIT MORE SLEEPY BECAUSE IT'S THE END OF THE SEASON.
HALF MOON FARM IS A VEGETABLE AND FRESH-CUT FLORAL FARM.
THE PARTNERSHIP BETWEEN BE A TREE CREMATION AND HALF MOON FARM IS ONE OF THE HEALTHIEST WAYS IN RETURNING US BACK TO THE EARTH AND, FOR ALL OF THE SCIENTIFIC PURPOSES, WHERE WE CAME FROM AND WHAT OUR BODIES ARE COMPOSED OF.
WHERE HALF MOON FARM STEPS IN IS BEING ABLE TO PROVIDE A SPACE WHERE THE NOURISHMENT, WHICH IS THE LIQUID THAT IS LEFT OVER FROM THE PROCESS, CAN BE RETURNED TO THE EARTH IN A DIGNIFIED AND INTEGROUS SPACE.
THIS IS NOT USED ON ANY EDIBLES.
WE ONLY ARE USING ON FRESH-CUT FLOWERS AT THIS TIME.
EVERYTHING THAT'S IN OUR FERTILIZERS IS WHAT'S IN THIS LIQUID, EVERYTHING FROM NITROGEN, CALCIUM, MAGENSIUM, PHOSPHORUS.
- THERE'S ACTUALLY NO HUMAN DNA LEFT IN IT AFTER THE PROCESS IS DONE.
IT'S A STERILE MIXTURE OF AMINO ACIDS AND PEPTIDES AND SUGARS.
AND THEN THERE ARE A BUNCH OF LITTLE MICRONUTRIENTS THAT ARE IN THERE, AS WELL, THAT WILL VARY FROM PERSON TO PERSON.
- WE DILUTE IT WHEN WE APPLY IT BECAUSE IT ALLOWS THE PLANT TO DIGEST THEM IN THE HEALTHIEST MANNER.
- REALISTICALLY, WE CAN REALLY ONLY WORK WITH ONE PERSON A DAY.
OUR PROCESS, START TO FINISH, IS ABOUT 18 HOURS LONG.
ONCE WE HIT ONE A DAY IN THE MONTH, THEN WE'LL REALLY BE AT CAPACITY HERE AND START LOOKING INTO OTHER WAYS THAT WE CAN SERVE MORE PEOPLE.
I THINK, FOR ME, UPON THINKING OF MY OWN DEATH, I REALLY KNEW THAT I WANTED TO FIND A WAY TO LIVE ON THROUGH NATURE, AND REALLY GIVE MY BODY A SECOND CHANCE TO NOURISH SOMETHING ELSE AND GIVE LIFE TO SOMETHING ELSE.
- WHEN THE PLANTS ARE GROWN HERE, THEY LEAVE TO GO TO ALL SORTS OF CELEBRATIONS ALONG THE FRONT RANGE, UP IN THE MOUNTAINS.
AND IT'S AN OPPORTUNITY FOR PEOPLE TO STOP AND LOOK AT, FIRST, THE LITERAL BEAUTY OF THEM, BUT ALSO THE STORY OF LIFE AND THIS REGENERATIVE IDEA BEHIND US GOING BACK TO OUR MOST PHYSICAL SENSE AS THE EARTH.
- DEATH, IN BUDDHIST RELIGION, IS A TIME OF CONTINUATION.
WHEN THIS BODY IS AT ITS END, WE WILL CONTINUE THAT AND REBORN--IT'S CALLED REBIRTH--TO OUR NEXT LIFE.
MY NAME IS TINH MAN, AND I AM THE ABBOT OF THIS CDC MONASTERY.
AND I'M A VIETNAMESE MONK.
REINCARNATION GOES ALONG WITH THE KARMA.
DO WHAT IS BEST, TO OFFER LOVE AND KINDNESS, HELP PEOPLE OUT, DON'T HARM PEOPLE WHILE YOU ARE ALIVE, SO THAT YOU CAN GENERATE GOOD KARMA FOR YOURSELF.
YOU CAN COME BACK AS A SNAKE , AS A DOG OR A CAT, A BUTTERFLY, AND AS A WORM, AS A MOSQUITO.
IT IS DIFFERENT.
IT DEPENDS ON YOUR KARMA, AS I SAY.
AS A BUDDHIST, WE WOULD LIKE TO COME BACK AS A HUMAN AND CONTINUE AS GOOD HUMAN WITH GOOD HEART AND CONTINUE TO SERVE THE PEOPLE, TO DO GOOD THINGS.
REMEMBER THAT LIFE IS IMPERMANENT.
AND WE ALL HAVE TO MOVE ON AT SOMETIME IN OUR LIFE.
- YOU HEAR IT IN THE PHRASE "ASHES TO ASHES, DUST TO DUST, " THIS IDEA THAT WE CAME FROM THE NATURAL CYCLES AROUND US, AND HAVE NO OPTION BUT, IN THE END, TO RETURN TO THEM.
SO, I THINK THE PROMISE OF A FINAL RESTING PLACE IN A BEAUTIFUL, NATURAL LOCATION IS AN EASY ONE TO CONNECT WITH EMOTIONALLY.
I HAVE THIS WISH THAT PEOPLE THAT COME HERE MIGHT HAVE A LITTLE BIT OF SOFTENING AROUND THIS QUESTION OF HOW OUR LIVES AND DEATH FIT IN THE GRAND SCHEME OF NATURE.
SECTION ONE IS COMING UP HERE ON OUR LEFT.
AND THE IDEA IS JUST THAT YOU WOULD GET THIS BEAUTIFUL SUNRISE OVER COYOTE RIDGE, THE VIEW OF THE ARROYO AND THE SHADOWS IT CREATES.
AND WE WILL LAY PEOPLE TO REST WITH AS LITTLE OF DISTURBANCE TO THAT ECOSYSTEM AS WE CAN.
MY NAME IS EMILY MILLER, AND I AM THE OWNER OF COLORADO BURIAL PRESERVE.
WE ARE A CONSERVATION CEMETERY IN FLORENCE, COLORADO.
THIS IS THE IDEA OF LAYING A PERSON TO REST WITHOUT ANY ITEMS OR UNNECESSARY EXPENDITURES OR WASTE OR CHEMICALS THAT MIGHT CAUSE POLLUTION.
THE IDEA IS THAT WE ONLY BURY THINGS THAT ARE BIODEGRADABLE, SUCH AS A PLAIN WOOD CASKET OR A CLOTH SHROUD.
FOLLOWING THE BURIAL, WE MANAGE THE PLOT AS A NATURE PRESERVE.
AND THE PERSON'S NUTRIENTS CAN FERTILIZE THIS NATURE ZONE.
WE KNOW EXACTLY WHERE HE'S BURIED BECAUSE IT'S SO MANY FEET FROM THIS NEAREST STAINLESS-STEEL MARKER.
BUT TO SOMEONE PASSING BY, IT MIGHT JUST LOOK LIKE A NATURAL HUMP IN THE EARTH.
AND IT'S RAISED BECAUSE WE PUT ALL OF THE SOIL BACK IN AFTER THE GRAVE WAS EXCAVATED.
AS SOON AS I DID FIND OUT ABOUT NATURAL BURIAL, I INSTANTLY HAD AN EMOTIONAL CONNECTION WITH IT FOR MYSELF.
I HAD AN ENTREPRENEURIAL SPARK MOMENT WHERE I FEEL THAT NATURAL BURIAL IN A NATURE PRESERVE ENVIRONMENT WAS A NEED THAT'S NOT BEING MET HERE IN COLORADO THAT OUGHT TO BE FOR PEOPLE WHO WANT THAT.
- I'M BARBARA CLARK , AND I DO BELIEVE IN THE NATURAL FUNERAL.
I THINK I PRETTY MUCH GOOGLED A NATURAL PLACE TO BE BURIED WITHOUT EMBALMING.
I THINK I PUT SOMETHING LIKE THAT IN.
AND THEN I FOUND THIS.
AND MAINLY, I JUST FEEL LIKE WE'RE JUST POLLUTING THE GROUND WITH EMBALMING, CASKETS THAT ARE LACQUERED.
AND IT'S JUST SOMETHING THAT I REALLY BELIEVE IN.
AND I THINK THAT WE'VE DONE ENOUGH TO DAMAGE THIS EARTH, OUR HOME, IN OTHER WAYS THAT, WHY KEEP DOING IT?
- PEOPLE HAVE THIS IDEA THAT A PLACE IN A CEMETERY IS WASTEFUL.
THE ARGUMENT FOR CONSERVATION BURIAL IS, IS THAT YOU CAN HAVE A DEDICATED FINAL RESTING PLACE, AND IT'S NOT A WASTE AT ALL BECAUSE IT'S GETTING USED FOR THIS MULTIPURPOSE BENEFIT OF, FIRST AND FOREMOST, IT'S FOR NATURE.
IT IS NOT A WASTE OF SPACE BUT AN ENHACEMENT OF SPACE.
THE PRESERVE IS 65 ACRES THAT WE ARE CONSERVING AND PROTECTING.
WE HAVE ONLY MAPPED OUT FOR GRAVES IN A FEW SMALL AREAS SO FAR.
SECTION FIVE IS TURNING TO BE LIKE REALLY POPULAR BECAUSE YOU CAN'T SEE THE ROAD BACK HERE.
YOU HAVE A SUNSET VIEW OF THE WEST, VIEW OF PIKES PEAK TO THE NORTH.
IT'S JUST A REALLY PRIVATE, SPECIAL SPOT.
I HAVE SPENT A LOT OF TIME AROUND OTHER PEOPLE'S REMAINS.
AND THE ONE THING THAT'S ALWAYS BEEN CLEAR TO ME IS, THE PERSON IS NOT THERE ANYMORE.
ONCE THE LIFE HAS GONE OUT OF THEM, IT CAN LOOK LIKE THE PERSON, BUT THEY ARE NOT THERE.
SO, OUR ROLES IN DEATH CARE ARE, YES, TO BE RESPECTFUL AND APPROPRIATE AND PROFESSIONAL TO THAT PERSON'S REMAINS.
BUT THE PRIMARY THING IS TAKING CARE OF THE PEOPLE WHO WERE LEFT BEHIND.
- EMILY TALKED ABOUT, "WELL, YOU CAN FACE THE MOUNTAINS, TOWARDS WESTCLIFFE, OR YOU CAN FACE THE SUNRISE, OR WHATEVER."
AND I THINK THAT'S GREAT.
YOU HAVE A CHOICE OF HOW YOUR FAMILY WILL SEE IT.
EVEN THOUGH I WON'T BE THERE, WHAT AN ENJOYABLE THING OR A PLACE TO GO.
- I SEE A LOT OF THE THINGS WE DO AROUND DEATH AS HAVING THESE CULTURAL AND RITUAL IMPORTANCE.
THEY DON'T ALL, FOR ME, PERTAIN TO THESE BIG QUESTIONS ABOUT WHAT HAPPENS TO US WHEN WE'RE GONE, WHERE DO WE GO, BECAUSE ALL WE CAN DO IS WHAT WE SEE, AND WHAT WE SEE IS THESE PEOPLE WHO ARE LEFT BEHIND.
(MUSIC PLAYING) - MY NAME IS [INDISCERNIBLE].
IN MY LANGUAGE, WHICH MEANS CHIPMUNK.
I'M FROM EEL ÜNAAP ÉEWI LAHK ÉEWIIT, WHICH IS DELAWARE FIRST NATIONS.
- I AM CALLED [INDISCERNIBLE], WHICH MEANS "HE IS LIKE A FOX."
AND AMONG MY PEOPLE, I AM A CHIEF IN THE LENAPE NATION.
- THE ROOTS OF THE LENAPE BELIEF SYSTEM, ESPECIALLY AROUND THE RETURNING HOME OF THOSE THAT HAVE PASSED AWAY.
CHRISTIANITY SEPARATES THE SPIRIT, CREATOR, OR GOD, FROM THE INDIVIDUAL, WHEREAS WE SEE OURSELVES AS ALL PART OF IT.
- THE SPIRIT ENDURES BEYOND JUST THE PHYSICAL LIFE.
WHEN YOUR PHYSICAL BODY IS OVER WITH, YOU DIE IN THAT WAY.
BUT YOUR SPIRIT CONTINUES ON IN A JOURNEY.
NOT ONLY DO WE AS THE HUMANS HAVE A LIVING SPIRIT, BUT ALL OF CREATION HAS A LIVING SPIRIT.
- OUR BELIEFS ARE THAT WE ARE PART OF CREATION.
EVEN IF YOU LOOK AT WHAT WE WOULD CALL THE CYCLE OF LIFE, EAST IS RED, EAST IS LIFE AND WOMEN.
WOMEN GIVE LIFE.
WEST IS BLACK.
IT REPRESENTS MEN.
AND THAT'S WHERE YOU GO TO THE NEXT WORLD, THE WEST.
(MUSIC PLAYING) - YOUR NEEDS HAVE GOT TO COME SECOND TO THE NEEDS OF THOSE FAMILIES THAT HAVE EXPERIENCED THAT TREMENDOUS LOSS.
WHETHER IT'S A 94-YEAR-OLD GRANDMOTHER, OR WHETHER IT'S AN 8-YEAR-OLD LITTLE BABY GIRL, THEIR NEEDS HAVE GOT TO SUPERCEDE YOURS.
MY NAME IS JIMMY BROWN, AND I'M A FUNERAL DIRECTOR.
MY WIFE AND I OWN FUNERAL HOMES IN EASTERN COLORADO.
AND WE TAKE CARE OF FAMILIES WHEN THEY HAVE LOVED ONES THAT HAVE DIED.
WE'RE IN THE CHAPEL AREA OF OUR FUNERAL HOME IN EADS.
WE HAVE THREE SMALL LOCATIONS ACROSS THE EASTERN PLAINS.
IT'S BEEN A GOOD WAY OF LIVING FOR US, BUT IT DOES COME WITH A PRICE.
YOU'RE MAYBE NOT NECESSARILY THE MOST POPULAR PERSON IN TOWN, BECAUSE WHAT KIND OF PERSON DEALS WITH THE DEAD?
BUT REALLY, IT'S AS MUCH ABOUT DEALING WITH THE LIVING AS IT IS ABOUT DEALING WITH THE DEAD.
THANKFULLY, I MARRIED A WOMAN THAT WAS WILLING TO MAKE THAT SACRIFICE WITH ME.
- ON OUR FIRST DATE, JIMMY, HE DROVE TO GREELEY, WHERE I WAS LIVING, IN HIS SUBURBAN , WHICH HAD A MORTUARY COT IN THE BACK.
IT WASN'T REALLY WHAT I WAS EXPECTING, BUT I GUESS IT DIDN'T SCARE ME AWAY.
I'M AMANDA BROWN.
AND I'M A CPA HERE IN EADS, COLORADO.
I ALSO HELP MY HUSBAND AT THE FUNERAL HOME HERE IN EADS.
- WHEN YOU ARE A SMALL-TOWN FUNERAL DIRECTOR, YOU'RE IT.
- WE ARE ON CALL 24 HOURS A DAY, 7 DAYS A WEEK.
- DEATH DOES NOT HAVE A SCHEDULE.
IT DOES NOT HAVE A TIME CLOCK.
- OUR JOB IS TO HELP PEOPLE THROUGH ONE OF THE HARD--PROBABLY THE HARDEST TIME OF THEIR LIVES, WHEN THEY'VE LOST A LOVED ONE.
- FINDING PEOPLE TO SUCCEED MY GENERATION IS ONE OF THE GREAT CHALLENGES THAT THE DEATH CARE PROFESSION IS FACING RIGHT NOW.
I KNOW OF FOUR OR FIVE FUNERAL HOMES WITHIN 200 MILES OR LESS OF HERE THAT ARE ALL LOOKING FOR HELP, AND WE CANNOT FIND IT.
I SPOKE WITH COLLEGES.
I SPOKE WITH PROBABLY EIGHT OR NINE OF THE MORTUARY SCHOOLS.
YOU'RE SWIMMING UPSTREAM BECAUSE WE JUST DON'T HAVE THE STUDENTS TO DO THIS.
THIS IS OUR CASKET ROOM.
WE'RE PROUD OF THE FACT THAT IN ALL THREE OF OUR SMALL FUNERAL HOMES, WE STILL OFFER FAMILIES THE OPPORTUNITY TO SEE, FEEL, AND TOUCH WHAT IT IS THAT THEY'RE GOING TO BE PLACING THEIR LOVED ONE'S BODY IN.
AS OF A FEW MONTHS AGO, THERE WERE OVER 1, 100 FUNERAL HOMES IN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA IN SEARCH OF FUNERAL DIRECTOR EMBALMERS.
AND IT'S A PROBLEM THAT IS ON THE HORIZON.
AND PEOPLE NEED TO BE TAKING THIS SERIOUS BECAUSE WHETHER WE WANT TO ADMIT TO IT OR NOT, THERE WILL ALWAYS BE DEATH.
AND THE DEAD MUST BE TAKEN CARE OF.
- I'VE BEEN HELPING OUT EVERYWHERE I CAN, SOMETIMES WORKING FUNERALS.
MY NAME IS KARSTEN BULLER, AND I'M GOING TO BE A FRESHMAN AT EADS HIGH SCHOOL.
THIS SUMMER, MY UNCLE JIMMY, HE ASKED ME IF I WAS INTERESTED TO COME HELP AT HIS FUNERAL HOME.
- I TOLD HIM, I SAID, "LISTEN, IF YOU THINK YOU HAVE AN INTEREST IN THIS, I'D BE WILLING TO GIVE YOU THE OPPORTUNITY TO DETERMINE WHETHER OR NOT YOU FEEL CALLED TO DO THIS WORK."
- I STILL DON'T REALLY KNOW EXACTLY WHAT I'M GOING TO DO, BUT I DO THINK THAT THIS BUSINESS WOULD BE GOOD FOR ME.
- I'VE WATCHED HIM GROW UP, AND I'VE OBSERVED HIS TEMPERAMENT.
- I THINK THAT TEMPERAMENT HE SAW MIGHT HAVE BEEN JUST THE SORT OF PERSONALITY I HAVE.
- I FELT THAT HE HAD THE POTENTIAL TO DO THIS WORK.
WHAT WE DO, WHAT OUR FAMILY DOES, IS MORE THAN A JOB.
WE'RE CALLED TO DO THIS.
RARELY DO I SEE A STRANGE FACE IN THE FAMILIES THAT WE SERVE HERE.
BECAUSE OF THAT RELATIONSHIP, THEY EXPECT MORE OF YOU.
THEY'RE NOT CALLING YOU BECAUSE OF WHERE YOUR BUILDING IS LOCATED.
THEY CALL YOU BECAUSE YOU'RE THE ONE THAT THEY WANT.
YOU'RE THE PERSON THAT THEY TRUST AT THAT TIME IN THEIR LIFE.
THERE IS NO GREATER FORM OF FLATTERY THAN THAT.
I GRADUATED FROM THE UNIVERSITY OF CENTRAL OKLAHOMA.
I ACTUALLY COMPLETED MY COURSEWORK IN DECEMBER OF '91.
WHEN I BEGAN THIS WORK IN 1988, WHEN WE WOULD HAVE A FUNERAL HERE IN EADS, EVERY BUSINESS IN TOWN WOULD CLOSE.
THE COURTHOUSE WOULD CLOSE FOR AN HOUR.
FUNERAL PROCESSION WOULD GO DOWN MAIN STREET, REGARDLESS OF WHAT CHURCH IT WAS HELD AT.
FOLKS WOULD BE STANDING ON MAIN STREET WITH THEIR HAT IN THEIR HAND.
EVERYONE CAME TO A FUNERAL.
FUNERAL WAS TOP PRIORITY.
WHEN SOMEONE DIED, THE COMMUNITY GRIEVED AS A WHOLE.
FUNERALS ARE STILL IMPORTANT.
FUNERALS ARE STILL WELL ATTENDED, BUT NOTHING LIKE IT USED TO BE.
I'M GROWING INCREASINGLY CONCERNED ABOUT THE LACK OF RESPECT THAT WE HAVE FOR THE DYING PROCESS.
OUR WORLD HAS TRIED TO CONVINCE US THAT OUR LIVES DON'T MATTER.
BUT THEY DO.
EACH AND EVERY ONE MATTERS.
- DEATH, IN MY CULTURE, IS SEEN AS A PART OF LIFE.
IT IS SOMETHING THAT WE ALL WILL EXPERIENCE AT ONE POINT IN OUR JOURNEY ON THIS EARTH.
AND IT'S SOMETHING THAT WE NEED TO BE PREPARED FOR AND THAT THERE ARE MANY RITUALS SURROUNDING.
I'M RABBI JOSEPH BLACK.
I'M THE SENIOR RABBI OF TEMPLE EMANUEL IN DENVER, COLORADO.
YOU LEARN A LOT ABOUT A RELIGION NOT SO MUCH BY THE ANSWERS THAT THEY GIVE BUT BY THE QUESTIONS THAT THEY ASK.
THE QUESTION "WHAT HAPPENS AFTER YOU DIE" IS A JEWISH QUESTION, BUT IT'S NOT THE JEWISH QUESTION.
THE JEWISH QUESTION IS, WHILE WE'RE HERE, HOW DO WE MAKE LIFE MOST MEANINGFUL?
WHAT HAPPENS AFTER WE DIE IS TRULY IN GOD'S HANDS, WE'RE TAUGHT.
THERE IS A BELIEF THAT THERE IS A SEPARATION OF OUR PHYSICAL SELVES, OUR BODIES, WHICH GOES INTO THE GROUND, AND OUR SOULS RETURN TO GOD.
AFTER THAT, YOU CAN FIND REINCARNATION, YOU CAN FIND IDEAS OF HEAVEN AND HELL OR PURGATORY.
YOU CAN FIND ALMOST ANYTHING IN JEWISH TRADITION.
WHEN A PERSON DIES, THERE ARE VERY SPECIFIC RITUALS THAT ARE PRESCRIBED.
AND THE FIRST HALF OF THOSE RITUALS IS HOW WE TREAT OUR LOVED ONE WHO'S GONE, IN TERMS OF HOW WE PREPARE THE BODY, IN TERMS OF WHEN THE FUNERAL TAKES PLACE, PREPARING FOR THE FUNERAL.
ONCE THE BODY IS BURIED, THEN THE FOCUS SHIFTS AWAY FROM THE DECEASED TO THE MOURNERS AND HOW WE, AS A COMMUNITY, CAN SUPPORT THEM, CAN HONOR THE MEMORY OF THEIR LOVED ONES, AND WALK THEM THROUGH THEIR JOURNEY OF GRIEVING AND MOURNING AND BEING PART OF A COMMUNITY THAT EMBRACES THEM IN THEIR TIME OF LOSS.
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